i spent the past 25 minutes writing this entry about my freshman year at college and it gave me this run-time error crap probably because i was idle for so long. it irritates me, but it doesn't anger me, probably because i know it was a shitty blog to begin with so i'm not saddened that it's gone.

i've been home for 16 days and i'm now trying to reflect back on the past year. it's funny how i come back home and it feels as if i've only left it for a week, not 8 months. everybody's talking about missing it, missing their respected colleges. this will probably come out worse than it really is, but i don't miss it. i sure as hell don't miss the dining hall food, the trek from hill over hill to mulford hall, my RA fucking his girlfriend who cannot shut up for the love of god, the dirty disgusting showers, the bad excuses for coffee, the countless homeless men who gawk at you as if you're some kind of grade A prime rib special, economics 1, public transportation, etc, etc. but i will miss the memories. i've complained incessantly about berkeley but i don't regret it. i hate regret when it comes to stupid things like this.

when i first stepped into my dorm room, i somehow ended up on the side of the room with a missing mattress.

when i left berkeley, i somehow felt my heart slow a little. like it knew what it was leaving behind. like it sighed. out of relief, perhaps. out of remembrance. probably.