if i could somehow procure a time machine and go back in time --

i would change my college destiny. i talk about not regretting berkeley and it's been my fixation for the past year, and i don't regret it. but if i had to do it over again, it wouldn't be berkeley. i'd opt for la - trade in telegraph for broxton, fat slice for chain store restaurants like bj's and cpk, sweethearts cafe for diddy reese.

i would change me. watching my friends from high school grow and mold into their respective colleges all around, i would have grown and molded with them. forged a future instead of sink in the past. i'd tell myself of my own ambitions and take a step forward. i wouldn't be so scared to open that door and emerge out of the protective wall i had built for myself only to be penetrated by myself. i'd change and perhaps become ten times the person i am today. i would have grown up.

i would change certain decisions i've made. i would have thought more about others - a lot more about the people i love. i wouldn't have been selfish and considered only the way i'd feel in the end, but i would have made the right decisions, based on the way others felt. i would have acted more on my word, held my word, instead of acting regardless of my word, break my word.

and if i could, i would take back time itself. because nothing hurts more than knowing it was your doing that caused those who you care about for so utterly, so undeniably, and so undoubtedly to cry tears of pain and betrayal for you and only you. and perhaps by doing that, i would make fewer mistakes, stand face to face with truth instead of furiously running away from it, love truly, and not selfishly.