i hear sinead o'connor's "jealous" while walking to school echoing out from somebody's car. and it made me want to replay the song over and over, the same exact way i did three years ago, two summers past, a thousand days ago when dawson's creek entertained me everyday.

remember that season finale when dawson's parents remarry and joey and pacey have been seeing each other without dawson knowing? and after the wedding, after dawson delievers that poignant best man speech, he and joey talk on the dock and he tells her that he has to let her go so she could spend the summer sailing down the atlantic with pacey so she could have that experience? and then, "jealous" plays while dawson is left alone, on his dock, by his creek, crying hysterically.

you're jealous
you just can't stand to see me get along without you
like i do, you told me to

now you're jealous
you don't know hard it was to be alone without you
wanting you like i do

i would have stayed if you had wanted
would have been willing
but you said i treat you so badly i can't be forgiven
you know i would have done anything
to make it through with you
but i don't deserve to be lonely
just cause you say i do

you're jealous
you don't know how hard it is to be a woman in love with you
when you're so cruel
and so jealous
you don't think about anyone's feelings but your own
are you coming home?

i would have stayed if you had wanted
would have been willing
but you said i treat you so badly i can't be forgiven
you know i would have done anything
to make it through with you
but i don't deserve to be lonely
just cause you say i do

so if you're gonna go you've gotta go and if you're staying stay
cause i can't take the pain you keep leaving when you go away
if you're gonna go you've gotta go and if you're staying stay
cause i can't take the pain you keep leaving when you go away

i don't deserve to be so lonely
i don't deserve to cry
i don't deserve to be so lonely