today was the first time in three weeks i attended my sociology of organizations lecture. and it felt good. because even though the movie we were watching was a world away, my friend next to me fast asleep, my coffee growing cold - it felt reassuring just to be in that room in barrows. i don't know why. it's funny sometimes how i feel things at the oddest instances, while reading a book, cleaning my desk, or even in the moment i begin to wake up in the morning. i realize that there are people out there that actually ask for my advice and the advice i give is completely opposite of my own actions. if i could actually listen to my own advice i'd be ten times a better person. and it's odd how that works. i wish i were everything good i see in other people. i wish i could be a little more like them and a little less like me.

my friend chris would chastise me for saying these things. and that's because he's such a great person, friend, confidant, dinner buddy, bad movie picker, person i drag to the mall when i want some amusement. he sees the good in me. he believes in me. he tells me over and over how i over analyze things, how situations sometimes just work the way they do, and how things are not always my fault. and he's always there. even when i'm not there for him, even when i endlessly make fun of him, even when i'm too busy to return his calls.

here's to you christopher, it's still my movie choice next time.