i remembered when i used to have so much more endurance. seriously, does two years of not ever exercising completely atrophy your entire body system? at the gym this evening (thank you lisa for coming with me even though you ran for 5 minutes on the treadmill and walked for the other 10) i was rowing and towards the middle, i was giving such a half ass effort i was almost even going to stop, regardless of the fact that i still had 500 meters left to go and that i hate quitting.

i remembered the suicides we had to do in tennis practice, back and forth from line to line on the singles and doubles court. the stairs that i hated so much but willed myself to do. the 9 am tai-bo sessions in the aerobics room. the jump-roping. the laps around the basketball court. the damn 50 serves we had to make perfectly. and of course, the "brahma run" (my HS mascot was the brahma, yes i know, essentially a cow) which consisted of pure torture - laps around the tennis court, down and up stairs, around the track, up the bleachers, around the baseball fields, through campus, and back to the tennis courts.

looking back, i miss it all. i miss pushing myself to extremes. i miss the adrenaline high after running the mile (and i hate running). i miss the thunk that the tennis ball makes when you hit it at just the right spot on your racket. i miss acing the opponent. i miss being active.

so hello gym, here i come. every damn day.