it's midnight and my chinese written final is in eleven hours. i got tired after trying to memorize characters for thirty minutes and sadly, i think i memorized like three words. well at least i'll know those! i'm having one of those moments, one of those ohnoithinkimadeahugemistake moments, not like oh no, that shirt color is hideous and i have to return it immediately moments, but whatamidoing moments. i was sitting in my last sociological theory lecture and i had this fleeting - well it wasn't fleeting, but lingering moments where i thought, oh my god i want a PHD and i want a PHD in sociology (jihye, amy, and lisa can find humor in this). i'm going in circles. anyway. PHD in sociology, i-made-a-huge-mistake i think i shouldn't be graduating next semester, i-made-a-huge-mistake why am i majoring in mass comm, i have to get my graduation gown because lisa didn't (grrr), i have to memorize my chinese skit, prepare for my oral final in theory, and did i mention, study some more for my chinese final tomorrow before i fail the first language i learned how to speak?

the questions the questions. but yet, the answers rarely seem to come in time.