i tossed and turned for a straight hour last night. i must have stumbled into the bathroom at least three times in the middle of the night, damn all that water. i threw the pillow i was holding onto the floor, not knowing i'd taken down my nightstand with it. i almost chucked clancy (my bear). (thank god, i was somewhat awake before i did that) to top it off, i woke up, an hour earlier than my alarm in a cold sweat.

who knew i could get like this?

fuck that, fuck them, i'm never doing that shit again.

but...for now, relief. it's finally over.

now...pray. and beg. and pray, pray, pray.

in the meantime, i'll search for a new career. or, a career to begin with.