this was a result of my procrastination this afternoon before actually sloshing through the rain to attend my review session! beat that! lol.

whats your name: erika
nick names: eri, (the rest I don’t like) fatso, shamu (stupid friends)
when is your bday: march 1
where were you born: whittier, CA
where do u live now: berkeley & diamond bar
how tall are u: 5’5
what is your eye color: dark brown
what is your hair color: basically black
nationality: american? haha chinese?
do u have any siblings: no stupid parents
do u have any piercings: yep, 6 to be exact
do u have any tattoos: no got over that stage
what size shoe are you: 7.5
what size ring are you: 6
what do you do best: memorizing random useless things
what makes you cry: almost anything
what makes you happy: being with my friends

ETC
what song are you listing to right now: verve pipe – “the freshman”
what is right next to you: my eggnog latte
what is your computer desk made of: i honestly don’t know, wood?
what are the last four digits of your phone number: 4795
what was the last thing you ate: porridge
do you like snow sun or rain: sun and a bit of snow
have you ever smoked pot: no
what did you do last night: went to emi/eliza/bren’s place, then oakland to eat
last person you talked to on the phone: emili to try to wake her up
whats the sexiest thing that you find in the oppostie sex: the way his eyes can burn into your heart when he’s just talking to you, whispers against the ear, looking good in a long coat
what do you like to do: sit in a coffee shop and talk to someone for hours
what is the best advice given to you: grow up erika
what do u wanna be when you grow up: communications lawyer
whats your favorite food: steak and potatoes
whats your favorite movie: errr godfather, memento, moulin rouge and so on
whats your favorite month: december
your favorite perfume: ralph, ck1, shi, fcuk
are you too shy to ask someone out: yes
whats your favorite name brand: gucci, prada even though I own nothing from them
whats the stupidest thing you ever done: being dishonest, lie
day or night: depends on the situation
summer or winter: a bit of both
hugz or kisses: hugs all the time, kisses for someone special
if you can change one thing about yourself what would it be: my sarcasm
do you care about the way you look: yes
do you get a tan only during the summer: no
do you have big ears: no
do you like to give advice: if ppl ask for it
are you a goody two-shoes: not so much
are you a daydreamer: yes

IN THE PAST WEEK HAVE YOU...
cried: yes
cut your hair: YES!
worn a skirt: no
been mean: yes
been sarcastic: like every second
gone for a walk: to school!
gone out for dinner: yep
met someone new: don’t think so
missed someone: yes
hugged someone: i think so
danced with someone: no
kissed someone: no

FEELINGS
best feeling in the world: love
worst feeling in the world: losing one that you love
marriage: sure
kids: 2, girl/girl, or guy/girl

FAVORITES
color: black, pastels
toothpaste: crest
show: practice, friends
flower: orchid
number: 10
book: the fountainhead (even though I’m 200 pgs from the end), picture of dorian gray
word/saying: “this life’s dim windows of the soul/distorts the heavens from pole to pole/and leads you to believe a lie/when you see with, not through, the eye” -william blake

i am officially alone in my apartment. richard left yesterday for new freaking york mother fucker and christine left this afternoon that hoe down cowgirl bitch ... oops did that come out? haha just kidding roomies, i love you guys even though you're freaking done with finals and left me sitting here with the rain, the wind, and a mass comm final to take. scary thing is i thought i had a lot of time to study since i havent picked up my notebook for that class for two weeks but seriously, i don't. i must start like now. at least i should do well on one final.

on a side note, while emi, eliza and i were walking from their apt to mine, we got blown over by the wind. seriously. it was raining and the wind was like crazy and drove eliza smack into a puddle, well all of us in a puddle, i guess i just saw eliza splash into it the most. and the wind broke my umbrella too! i liked that umbrella! i'm gonna have to get one of those massive ones because the wind here breaks any other kind of umbrella.

all right, time to clean and organize my room! lots to do with so little time. oh, and study. goodnight =)

you're so beautiful that sometimes when i look at you, i forget to breathe.

if we ever get to win the magical prize at the end of the yellow brick road - if there is a purpose behind all those fairy tale stories we were made to believe in when we were children - then by god, we are the luckiest people in the whole damn world.

and when your touch grazes my skin, all that inundates me is the pounding whisper that is nothing but the beat of my own heart.

it's wednesday. so i have one more day before my finals begin. i'll leave anthro up to luck now, i can always take a guess, one good thing about multiple choice. so i have like a day and a half to cram in half a semester's worth of american landscapes - starting now. i just want to go home!!! 6 more days, it sounds so close, but yet, it's so damn far away.

good luck to you all on finals (well, those of you that have finals left) - stupid angela. hahah jk. =)

let it slide overhead
when i believe in you my soul can rest
but as love that's really love can never fail
but fail it does
when we shine like the sun
you seem the only one my only friend

you're so pretty in white
pretty when you're faithful
so pretty in white
pretty when you're faithful

i resigned from myself
took a break as someone else
it's like we've come undone
but i've only just become
inflatable for you

gavin rossdale's voice is ever so enchanting. it's like he's begging for love, begging for romance, on his knees asking that his soul be kept from the firery gates of betrayal and heartbreak. it's reassuring though. to hear someone sing about love the way he does. and at 2:40 in the morning, it's really, in a futile attempt to find a better word, soothing.

i don't wanna start studying!!! i have no motivation, no inspiration, no damn muse! so i sit here, blindly searching away on the internet, checking people's away message, and staring at the calendar wishing that it is december 17th, the night i finally get to rid berkeley for a good month. but before then, i must, finish two more questions on my sociology take home exam (i did one question last night, wowsers), cram one semester's worth of anthro into my head before 8 am friday, cram a month's worth of american landscapes in before 5 pm friday, and memorize a list full of theories and definitions for mass comm before next tuesday, 5 pm. i should be worried. but panic has not set in. wait, does panic ever set in for me? no, i think not.

so it's sunday afternoon. let's see. friday was girls night - angela made some good tiramisu, freaking good for her first time. and after shoving that down our throats we were so bored, finally deciding to go to a lambda party around 11:30 in search for some drinks and good music. party turned out okay but it was all better because bren came with us!! she gave up o-chem for a girls night out! well, not really for us, she only did it because angela was making her feel bad. but yes, the rum was the most disgusting thing i ever tasted in my life, i ended up with a headache after the jungle juice but, before we left around 2, we got to dance to britney and justin! (bren asked the dj to play britney)

i think i just reinvented stream-of-consciousness from the paragraph above.

okay okay, back to soc it is. i want to cry, i hate studying.

awwww i'm listening to christmas songs and it's making me excited!! but then i glance down at my schedule of classes and berkeley floods me all over again, stupid school, stupid psych department, stupid me - i think i changed my other major yet another time. version 11, here i come.

yesterday i think i went a bit crazy after emi, eliza, chunk and i got coldstone. something about the cheesecake ice cream with strawberries just umm, got to me. christine was acting crazy too! but that was fun, totally not studying for BA and umm, randomly guessing on this morning's last exam. oh well, it wasn't like i didn't know anything. i mean, he repeats his questions and a lot were definitions so i really did know something after like 15 minutes of [intense] studying.

instruction ended today (well, yesterday for me). great, now i have to look ahead and start cramming like crazy. i still don't know whether or not my anthro exam is cumulative or from the second midterm, nor do i know where the hell my final exam will take place. serves me right for not attending lecture this last month and a half.

just one and a half more weeks for erika! i hate my roommates who are sadly leaving me alone for 3 days. especially richard who i know will call me from new york where he's having the time of his life while i'm studying. poop. (that word sounds funny in that context) and bronto who's flying out of here friday for the motherland. chunkalicious leaving fatso on saturday. and stupid anorexic angela who's going to tahoe instead of visiting me and keeping me company while i'm alone! bah humbug!

great. i'm hyper again. =)

my last 8 am discussion of the semester. to tell you the truth, it wasn't all so bad. problem wasn't waking up (i find i can do so even on 3 hrs of sleep), it was just sometimes, i lacked the drive to go. and that disappoints me because i like my gsi, i like him a lot and he woke up all those days to attend his discussion. not that i never attended, seriously, i'm good about going to class. just the reading/studying part gets me.

i was going to sleep for like an hour before my last american studies lecture at 11 (i do like this professor too even though he stutters sometimes and can go on and on about everything) but bronto called and said she forgot her keys so it looks like i'm going to be falling asleep in class. oh, and perhaps i'll just cook my spaghetti now instead of at 12:30 when class ends. yes erika, pasta at 10 in the morning. great idea.

i was reading annie's blog yesterday and it didn't really strike me until now. i mean, she was talking about how she doesn't want to detest her career path and how she doesn't want to sit in an office all day crunching numbers cheating people out of their hard earned money (she goes to wharton by the way) and it just sort of struck me this morning. because i realized as much as i love communications, i don't want to be one of those people either. i think i told annie before that i knew she wasn't like most business majors because i knew she had a heart and she genuinely cared, rather than most wall streeters who appear so nonchalant about everything except their ferraris and bachlor pads in the upper west side. and taking this communications class just made me love why i'm a comm major but also made me resent myself for it. because i was exposed to all this media pressure and everything that is out there in the media these days and some of it truly gets to me. i hate the way media portrays body image, i hate the way tv news is presented, i hate how millions of dollars can be wasted on a movie so inane that even bush can be disgusted by it. and i fear so much that this is what i'm going to end up doing. i'm going to be one of them. just another tool working to sell audiences, working to get the highest ratings, working to turn more and more people into puppets controlled by the mass media. okay, so i'm exaggerating a bit there. but when it comes down to it, i still want to be in the media industry. and god, how much i want to change it.

anyway, there's my 15 seconds for the day. bronto's here, time to play. haha.

so why is it that i get these sudden fits to write during the ungodly (as christine would say) hours of the morning? first 8 o'clock discussion i've attended in awhile (not counting the one that was cancelled on tuesday that i stupidly woke up to go to) and this is going to sound really nerdy but after sitting there furiously taking down notes for my final, i actually felt bad for missing lecture yesterday. it was on advertising and it sounded really interesting - okay, that has to at least beat me whining about missing history lectures! so stop with the "nerdo" jokes.

i had a great weekend - 6 days at home, now that's something. actually i didn't do much, just hung around here and there but time went by so quickly i barely had a chance to sit down and reflect. besides reflecting about a certain wednesday night at a certain hollywood club in which a certain "robotic raver" nearly compelled me to slap the shit out of him. i get easily embarrassed and let's just say, i was mortified. why do those weirdos come to me? do i have a stamp on my forehead that says "welcome all freaks?" (no comments, i know you were going to make one richard) it was a fun night though, limited in people as it was (angela, christine, helen and i) - angela got hit on by all sorts of people, haha, including some drunk freak and a fob. must be the hair girl, must be the hair.

other than that, i don't think anything was as eventful. although i wish i went to see at least one movie, treasure planet or something and even though ya'll said solaris was really horrifically bad, i kinda still want to see it. i don't know, it just may be my type of movie seeing how i enjoyed traffic (okay, not so much, but it wasn't horrible).

i think angela and i were talking about how many times we want to fall in love. and we both came up with the same number. twice. the first one to sweep you off your feet and make you believe in the notion that there really is something so real about love and the second for the definitive love. the enduring, passionate, take me away and marry me, spend the rest of my life trying to make you happy sort of love. and she said something to me that i have to admit, made me cry. along the lines of "he'll wipe that cynicism away, take that away from you for good"; she said it better but - i guess when somebody does that, i'll know that i'd want to spend the rest of my life trying to make him happy the way he enveloped me with happiness. who knows, maybe i'll believe in true love after all.

but for now, i'll just be [this] as angela says. fall in love twice eh? i think the idealistic part of me wants to say i'll only fall in love once, have my heart broken badly, and then, have it made whole again by the same person. so that would make falling in love twice, just with the same person.

and i must write my BA paper. i've managed to procrastinate even more than christine. so off i go, ready to BS some crap - scheduled time of completion = the next 30 minutes. top of the morning to ya'll =)