i'm learning new things everyday.

we have a make-shift bar on angela's coffee table where they are experimenting with "cement mixers". is it only me or do people actually know what that is? first you take a shot of bailey's, keep it in your mouth and then drink some lime juice, slosh it around in your mouth and apparently it starts to get gum-like, then chunk up. seriously, the HELL? i'm just enjoying my bailey's on the rocks. enough for me.

and my head is already starting to get dizzy. i swear, my tolerance for alcohol is just pathetic. arg.

so i'm happily bouncing down the stairs to the living room so i can finish watching my rented sex in the city season one dvd and just as i'm about to turn on all the kitchen lights, i see my dad sleeping away on the couch. i hate when it gets hot and he feels the need to sleep downstairs. what am i to do? i can't wake him up - he's mad at me enough but i need to finish watching my dvd before i have to return it tomorrow!

days in diamond bar = 7
trips to various malls = 6

whew. i actually thought trips to malls would have exceeded the number of days i've been back.

hello summer (without the damn sun lately however). i've been back for about four days and i think i racked up at least $500 on my credit card/cash. this is what happens when you are deprived of malls in berkeley. you go buck wild once you come home.

so five episodes of sex in the city later, i've come to the conclusion that...if i'm thirty-something and unmarried, i am going to shoot myself. the show is my new favorite obsession. oh, that and christian dior.

i tried tanning three days of the four since i've been back. first day it was in my backyard (shut up, i know it's lame) and after fifteen minutes i could not take it anymore i was sweating up a storm. second day jess, jenny and i decide we want to go to laguna...at 3 freaking 30 in the afternoon. it was so damn cold. overcast, chilly, and freaking cold. jess insisted we could still tan with the uv rays. what the hell was she talking about all i got out of that afternoon was some hella good laughs at jess. third day i dragged chris with me attempting to go to newport but once we hit santa ana mall it started to look really gloomy so instead i begged him to go to nordstrom with me to find a bathing suit. then i had to compromise so we went to the shooting range. when my hand isn't shaking like a leaf i've got to say, i don't have bad aim. okay i just realized i'm blabbering on about what i've been doing - not exactly super interesting. i apologize.

end note: i love having cable. it's like...orgasmic. lol. not really.

fucking blogger pisses me off. it has deleted TWO of my posts in the past two days. so i'm sitting at my desk in diamond bar and in this sauna of a room when it hits me. my room next year is seriously twice the size of my room at home. i can't even breathe in here, it's like a closet. i'm sweating as i write this. but i'm home, and home is good.

stupid blogger. i wrote this half sentimental, half reflective entry and it deleted it. piece of shit. damn. i knew i should have saved it halfway.

so i'm starting to get scared. i have to write my mass comm final essay, which is essentially my take home final, by midnight tonight and i've just begun to brainstorm. and i'm interpretating the essay question and molding it into my own, so i'm not quire sure if my GSI will be too happy about it. i've transformed the question so i can write four pages about asian-american stereotypes in better luck tomorrow ~ hey might as well write a final paper on something you find relatively interesting right? and yes, that is why i chose to write my other paper on bananas. sickos. i just think the fruit itself is interesting. sheesh.

i drink diet coke like it's water. i don't think it's good to consume an average of two cans per day. i'm soon going to consume bottles daily.

i think i just like liquids. diet coke, coffee, smoothies (juice appeal is now a must-have), teas, anything. no wonder i have to pee so much.

fine. enough procrastination. i've wasted the past two hours away not writing my essay. and now it's time to go to class. actually i'm kinda sad. it's my last food culture class and i'm going to miss it! i love my teacher, who just happens to be my mass comm advisor as well. i will seriously take every course she teaches and that's a lot for me to say because usually i don't ever feel such an affinity for any teachers. maybe it's the topic. FOOD. haha or a combination of both. and now i'm just rambling. have a great day!

i have enlightening conversations regarding dating and relationships with chris. so while we were waiting for the check at don antonio's (this amazing mexican restaurant in LA) we started discussing ideal characteristics in the opposite sex. so i said my usual, 6'0, intelligent as in culturally intelligent as well as intelligent intelligent (there's a whole other paragraph), athletic, goal-oriented, etc. etc. etc. oh, and stamina. ladies, your theme song should be missy elliot's "one minute man" because hell no are we looking for those. so stamina. right at the top of the list. i got sidetracked. hmm...oh, and chris also mentioned he had stamina. i'm not particularly interested in finding out but if anyone else wants to, talk to me. haha i can imagine christopher rolling his eyes at me reading this. so what was i saying? oh yes. chemistry. very important. we both agreed on that one. and since chemistry is so important, i'm going to share with you my new dating theory. i think i have a point and i think we'll get somewhere with this. so, dating 101, making sure chemistry exists from the very beginning.

1. chemistry is all about intimacy. so have sex. you know he wants to. hell, you want to too. so do it. no "let's wait till we know each other better" crap. you want to know if there's chemistry right? if there isn't any sexual chemistry, i'm sorry sweetie, there won't be any chemistry at all. so after that night of unpleasant sex with him exercising his one minute man routine, you are out of there. ran straight away from hell. then you know. no wasting another three months of your life hoping that chemistry exists. you found out in the early stages so you can move on.
2. you found chemistry. good for you. now try sex twice a day, then up it to three. more chemistry is bound to spill out.
3. you didn't find chemistry. like i said in #1, bolt out of there, as quick as possible. surprise the dude so it's less likely you'll have to hear him beg and plead for second chances.
4. you're a prude. well, (ahem, jihye tahk) good luck.
5. i didn't want to think about my bananas investigative essay so i came up with this instead.

going along with my self realization theme, i found comfort in yet another nightly activity. this time, i was lying on the floor next to my bed while evanescence's (yes i like them late at night, especially because the lead singer's voice is so piercing, so beautiful) "my last breath" plays and while i was there on the floor, i imagined how one day, i could turn to my right and see the reflection not of myself in the mirror but of the one i love. and i'd sing:

can you hear me?
can you feel me in your arms?
holding my last breath
safe inside myself are all my thoughts of you

my god i'm sappy. and jihye is snickering right now as she reads this, shaking her head at me.

i know you hear me
i can taste it in your tears
holding my last breath
safe inside myself are all my thoughts of you