my midterms from hell are finally over! now, i can attend more important issues at hand. for example, hello, fall is already here! must must purchase some new good coats for the season, not to mention handy dandy scarves, gloves, the occassional hat, boots, sweaters, bags and totes. winter isn't sounding too bad.

if i could put as much diligence, effort, and energy into studying and writing papers as i do with making sure every little grease stain is off a dish, then i'd be so set.

a week late, yes i know, but i still want to wish angela, my food loving, sweet, and darling best friend down in SD a very happy birthday. i wish i could have been at your party and judging from what i've heard from christine, it was a damn good one. so now that you're twenty, you're finally one step closer and yes, i promise, i won't go off and have fun without you ~ you know me, i dislike alcohol anyway and i'm antisocial. so happy birthday!

i remember how much i love mornings. well, perhaps not really 'morning', but 11 o'clock morning. so this mid-morning, i went to have lunch with jihye. so i've eaten with her countless times before, but i don't know why, this morning just felt...a little bit more special. it's probably because this girl has been MIA for the past month but i really liked it. and a thank you to jihye, for "paying her way out of being MIA", it was really unnecessary.

i've realized recently just how much i loved my summer. because there are those instances when i'm sitting in a lecture hall and actually want so badly as to be standing over a xerox machine, making two copies of a prom catalog. or driving through all the one way streets in berkeley and missing the way the warm breeze would feel as you blasted music to the bumper to bumper traffic on the santa monica freeway going home. the patience your parents would have with you as you explained to them that being a part of the entertainment industry would be awesome. mom's beef stew. dad's skate shoes, sport chalet tent sales, and newport beach days spent walking along the boardwalk. my god i absolutely adore LA in the summer.

but a huge part of me also utterly adores berkeley the rest of the seasons.

and it's because you have roommates who go around posting pictures of themselves on your bulletin boards, friends who write you notes in class as if we are still in junior high, dorm friends from freshmen year who let you call them with badgering questions on the next day's midterm AND

movie nights in the comfort of my bedroom, gushing, squealing, pointing and sighing to the charisma of cary grant and the unmistakeable beauty of deborah kerr. if there has been a good movie i've seen in the past months, it has got to be an affair to remember. and i assure you girls that were here, i do cry in movies, just more so when it's late at night and i'm alone, downstairs in my childhood home, remembering everything and anything that has ever happened in my existence.

i will not ever take 5 classes again. this midterm/paper crap is driving me insane. i can't function like this. the ironic thing is, i have taken 5 classes before, bitched about it, vowed never to do it again and yet, here i am, a year later, doing the exact same thing.

i swear i don't learn things the first time.

i have three midterms, a midterm paper, and a reflection to do in the next three weeks. if you find me making plans to go shopping or venture into the city for dinner, please please please hit me. lightly of course, but hard enough so that i am punished.

thank you.

sometimes i'm so stupid it boggles me.

for example, reading the prompt of a paper that is worth 20% of your grade wrong, thus causing you an entire letter grade. i'm such an idiot it is beyond me how i just screwed myself over.

it makes me wonder how they ever trusted me over the summer to copy edit. i hope i didn't send the issue into publication with typos or false information.

i love sour path watermelons right now. i'm consuming more than a pack a day.

i'm too scared to look at my online bank statement and i'm too terrified to call home. if i ever become a mother i will be so thankful if my kid isn't like me.

yet all i can think about is going shopping. it's fall - fall selections are in, new colors of sneakers are needed, coats are essential, and sweaters are to die-for. i'm such a big shopper with my non-existent income. four more years of dependency ~ that is, if i even get into law school.

and i'm exhausted. this was a random stream-of-consciousness, i want to re-write it but yet i'm too, too tired.